Carpe Diem
by Sydney Blake
Summary: Another story explaining what happened between Dumbledores death and his funeral to Tonks and Lupin. Hope you enjoy it, tell me about it afterwards, will you? could be rated either M or T, not sure, decided to stay safe bo sexual content, please R&R!


A/N: Hey you out there! This is my first ever RL/NT Fanfic, and I guess I love it. Hope you do, too… This is for you, The-Tzipporah, for you made me worship this pairing and answered to my review (still amazed). Thanks a lot, hope you enjoy!

Rated M for sexual content!

Please R&R, I'll be grateful for everything you may have to say!

It was the day after Dumbledores death when Tonks dragged herself up the stairs to the guest rooms in the Hog's Head.

The place was shabby and not quite clean and she didn't feel like being there, but she had a mission to accomplish.

She knocked weakly at the door on which the number '14' was painted with black paint, flaking off. There was sound within, so the room could not be empty, but no one answered.

Tonks took a deep breath of dusty air and knocked again, harder and more confident this time.

"Fuck…" a rumbling from within "I'm coming, just wait a second…"

The door opened slightly and showed her Remus Lupin, his hair dripping wet. He seemed to have showered recently "Nymphadora…"

"Remus…May I come in?"

He opened the door wider, allowing her to step in. He was wearing nothing but a towel around his hips, which made it not easier for Tonks to have a reasonable conversation with him, but she nevertheless stepped in, carefully avoiding to touch him.

At some distant point in her head, she realized that Remus' room was clean and cosy. Not luxury, but still cosy, other than the rest of the house.

She moved over to the window where she looked down onto the street, watching people searching for one of the rare free rooms in the village to be near their children and wait for Dumbledores funeral or just waiting for it because they knew him. News spread fast in the wizarding world.

Lupin looked suspiciously at her back. He had the distant idea that she would tell him that she did not want to see any of him ever again and it broke his heart, but he knew she would be better off without him.

"Remus… I had time to think…" 'Here we go', he thought, 'rip my heart into pieces, Nymphadora, I deserve it'

"You know…", her voice was trembling, "Sirius is dead. He was one of the few people in my family I was proud of. Bill is… well, you know what happened to him. Did you know we went to Hogwarts together and dated once, because our parents thought we were a cute couple? We went to that Teashop here in Hogsmeade and all we did the entire day was laughing at the stupid couples dating in there. We are friends for years now, Remus, and look what happened to him. But still, I care for him and love him like a brother. And then…", Tonks swallowed hard "Dumbledore. One of the greatest wizards known to wizardkind, killed by a traitor that was supposed to be not only a colleague, but a friend. These are unsteady times, Remus, you never know where you will be tomorrow. We could all be dead by the end of today."

Lupin closed his eyes. Of course she was right, but still…

"I know what you think now. You think of all the excuses for you not to get together with me. What was it you said? Must've been somethin' around the lines of 'Too old, too poor, too dangerous', no? Now look at me Remus" She turned around and he could see tears swelling in her eyes. Hurriedly he looked out of the window behind her. "Do I look like I care what other people think? Or better, did I look conservative to you last year?" A distant smile appeared around Lupins lips when he thought about striped overknees, green skirts and bubblegum pink hair. "I want you, just like you are, and if other people think the age is important, than I don't give a shit, damn it! Too poor. What we need in these times, Remus, can't be buyed with money. We need someone to rely on, someone we can trust. We'll all have a lack of this soon and can be happy if we find the one soul we can trust... And besides that, Molly will make sure no one's starving, you know that. That reminds me, Molly and Arthur. They have seven children, Remus, seven! And they don't have much money, we all know that. Still, we are all welcome at their place and they are happy. Too poor, my ass!"

Lupin took a deep breath and opened his mouth, but Tonks cut him off "Let me finish, Remus. Too dangerous. My life's in danger every second now, as is everyone else's. Greyback is attacking untransformed now and we do not know about the others, really. Of course I will be in danger at the full moon, but that's no difference to any other day, now, is it?"

Lupin looked at her again, taking her in. She was thin, looked tired and her hair was brown. Her eyes did not seem to have any colour at all. She looked as if she was suffering, and he knew she really was and it was all his fault.

What if she was attacked and too weak to defend herself, just because he was hurting her? She should just have forgotten about him, it would have been better for her, but she told him her feelings for him shortly after Sirius' death and they have had many discussions about that since then and she did not seem to be ready to turn her back at him, she was fighting and it made him love her even more "Nymphadora…"

"You realized that you're the only one I ever permitted to use my given name? When my mother died, I wanted to leave the name behind me. She had been the only one calling me that. When you say it, it sounds great."

He could see the pain in her eyes, the pleading, and he knew if he turned her down again, she would hurt, suffer, and still come back to him again and again.

"I would love to have better news for you, but you deserve something better than this" he motioned around the room and then at himself

"You don't get that, do you? There is nothing better than you to me in this world. You're perfect. I want you, I crave for you. I love you"

Remus' hand flew into his hair and came to a rest at the back of his head "You don't understand… It's not that I don't like you, really…"

"Than where, the bloody hell, is the problem? I don't want to die tomorrow and regret that I didn't try harder to get you, regret that I didn't manage to convince you that we are meant for each other. I don't want to die, having missed hours with you, even if it would only be few. I don't want to regret a thing" She had closed the space between them, fists trembling at her sides. She looked up into his eyes, her lower lip trembling, and Remus knew he had to give in. She was right, of course, had been all the time. But still, he was afraid

"It's not only me turning into a werewolf, Nymphadora. There are other reasons why it is dangerous to attach yourself to me. My parents, Lily, James, Sirius and Dumbledore, all dead. Peter a deatheater, having caused not only one of these deaths. All the people that ever meant anything to me are dead or, in Peters case, insane. I'm not good for you"

"The hole good part of my family is dead, Remus. But that's not my fault. It's the fact that these people are pure and good and ready to fight for their beliefs, to die for it. They are not dead because they were attached to us, they were attached to us because they were ready to do what ever they need to do to make this world worth living in. They were attached to us because they were pure and good. Besides, I know you very much care about Harry, Hermione and the Weasleys, and they are definitely alive, just as Hagrid and McGonagall are"

Tears flowed out of Tonks' eyes freely now and she sobbed. Lupin could not help himself, he had to take her into his arms and comfort her, calm her down "I know, Nymphadora, I know… It's okay… Don't cry, please… I can't stand see you hurting… It breaks my heart Nymphadora…"

She sobbed still "Then just make the pain go away… it hurts…" "But how?" Oh, how he wanted to help her, but how could he? He could tell her she was right and that he would stop rejecting her, but he did not think that she would listen, she was crying much too hard to concentrate on his words, so, for lack of a better idea, he grabbed her upper arms, pushed her away from his chest, bent down and kissed her.

Tonks stiffened for a second, but relaxed soon enough to let herself sink into the kiss. The sobbing stopped and no more tears were flowing down her cheeks. When they parted, she stared at him in disbelief, touching her hands first to her mouth, then tracing his lips with her fingertip.

Remus' eyes were closed. He knew it would be great, kissing her, but looking at her brown hair and colourless eyes, he would never have imagined her, tasting like cherries and summer. His tongue darted out to caress her fingertip and before they knew what happened, their lips crashed together and they were entwined in a passionate kiss, tongues battling for lead.

Tonks' hands flew over his chest, touching every part of skin she could reach, his hands found their way under her shirt, stroking her back, loving to feel it arch.

She moved her pelvis against his towel and felt his hardening member, smiling into the kiss.

"I… stop, can't…" "Yes, you can, Remus, just stop thinking" Lupin nodded at this, lifted her up and carried the giggling girl over to his bed. When he looked into her face he saw her eyes shining an amazing shade of blue. He grinned and made her feel uncomfortable "What?"

Remus shook his head "It's just that… You're beautiful, Nymphadora"

She blushed and was lowered onto the bed. Lupin kneeled down, one knee between her legs, the other next to them "Now isn't it unfair that you are getting to see so much of me while I don't get to see much of you?"

Tonks smiled and sat up to open her cloak and let it slide down her shoulders, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head. Her bra was pink with black dots on it "Sorry, didn't expect this to turn out that well…" Remus laughed low and bent down to kiss the to of her left breast "Love it". Before she knew what had happened, Remus had grabbed his wand and let her trousers vanish, revealing knickers striped in different shades of green "Well, as I said, didn't…" He pushed her down, kissing her flat stomach and dipping his tongue inside her navel "Never mind, dear, I don't plan on look at your underwear for long… besides, it just looks like you" he looked up at her, seeing her hair take a light rose colour while her head was tilted back and she moaned in pleasure. Coming to think of it, he expected her to be a louder lover and placed a silencing charm on his room, plus, he locked the door. They did not need any interruptions. They had waited long enough…

Tonks suddenly stiffened, her eyes wide "Remus… we can't, I… I'm not…." Kissing her neck, Remus rummaged through his nightstand, taking out a small bottle of baby-blue potion. Tonks' eyes widened in confusion "Why do you keep contraception potion in your nightstand? Did you… do you…" There was the deep laughter of him again that made the butterflies in her stomach flutter around in excitement "Actually, it's been a while since I last, you know… Came into a situation in which one of the involved needed this, don't worry, you're completely out of competitors. Actually, Molly told me last week to keep that because I would eventually give in"

Tonks chuckled and emptied the bottle, swallowing all of its content while Remus kept nibbling at her neck and her earlobe in turns. Somehow, the towel had gone but neither of them could remember when or how, but Remus felt that he should see all of Tonks, too, when she got to see all of him, so he took his wand and vanished her underwear, leaving her naked under him, biting her lip with fear of rejection, but her nervousness vanished when she saw his eyes sparkle at the side of her. He seemed to be taking in every inch, memorizing her body forever, before he started to kiss every inch of her. When he had reached her feet, he kissed back up her leg again, her inner thigh and then placed an unexpected kiss on her labia, Tonks took in a sharp breath "Holy shit…" Everything had been quite innocent until now, when they seemed to start getting naughty. One would maybe not think so, but Tonks had never been on the receiving end of oral sex. Oh, she was no virgin and had given blow jobs before, but no one had ever cared enough to want to please her, and that seemed to be what Remus wanted: please her, make up for all the pain he had coursed… Well, he was very good at making up for stuff, Tonks thought. His tongue darted out to separate her lips, searching its way into her, sucking, licking and fucking her with his tongue, provoking a moan that soon came from her, her hands clutching at the sheets, her legs falling further apart. Remus lay his hand on her stomach to sooth her, calm her down, while his tongue searched for the little nob that was her clit, flicking his tongue over it, licking it and sucking on it.

When Tonks hit her climax, her back arched, but Remus pushed her down into the mattress, sucking up the juices that flew from her. Delicious, she tasted, and he licked his lips, not wanting to miss a single drop.

He sat up to look at her recovering, lazily stroking her stomach, slowly moving up to caress her breasts. Before her breath had normalized again, he started trailing kisses from her stomach to her neckline, back down to her collar-bone and let his tongue stroke hers lazily, making her taste herself, finding it real hot that she did not turn away in disgust but kiss him back hungrily. She was about to try and push him onto his back to straddle him when she felt strong enough again, but Remus caught her wrists and pressed them to either side of her head into the mattress, suddenly a wild, hungry look in his eyes. Tonks looked up at him, eyes wide and a bit fearful "Wha…?" "You'll be on the receiving end of pleasure today, Nymphadora" a warm feeling spread through he body by the sound of her given name on his delicious lips "I hungered for you, oh yes I did. Don't think I never dreamed of you, straddling me or head in my lap, yes I did, but I made you suffer because I was too stupid to see that you're right, and I have a lot to make up for because of this. Just relax and enjoy, promise I'll give my best not to disappoint you" He licked his lips again as Tonks nodded and looked down. His member was quite near to her entrance, but she could still not feel him on her lips, pressing against her to ask for permission to enter. And she should not feel that at all today, for Remus just shoved himself into her, making her gasp and moan. He stopped dead "Did I hurt you?" "Gods, Remus, shut up and fuck me already, this feels so…" But she did not get the opportunity to tell just what his cock inside her felt, for he started to move which made her moan again "Merlin…"

Both of them did not last long, they came together, crying out loud "Hell, yes!" "Nymph…"

When they cuddled against each other mere seconds later, they both grinned happily "Merlin, I wanted this for so long… I should have given in more early, shouldn't I?" "Of course you should have! You should have grabbed and kissed me when we first met, damnit!"

"And so I wanted to… Will you teach me to listen to my heart instead of my brain?" "Only if you teach me how to move your tongue like that…"

Remus grinned "That's a natural thing, you can't learn that" Tonks pouted "But I would be happy to show you that moves again, Nymphadora" "Now" "Gimme a rest, woman, I'm an old man" Tonks kissed him lightly on the lips "Not old, Remus, experienced… I'm glad you decided to seize the day, at last" Remus took her in his arms, deciding to never let her go again. He kissed her hair that now sported a violent shade of lilac. He smiled at it, resting his head on top of hers and looking out the window were darkness had fallen "Well… Give me some minutes and I may decide to seize the night, too… Nymphadora" She cuddled against him, loving her name for he seemed to like it. "Love you, Remus" "Love you, too, _Nymphadora_"

A/N (again): Hope you liked it nervous please, please tell me if you did...


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